Reconnect with the Self

Some changes are about to happen. We are part of the many ones who lost the connection. That’s why we flew away. For one of us the activator was work. For the other one, it was studies. But for both of us, it was the body who started to speak is own language : the language of the symptoms.

We choose Australia it could have been everywhere. The journey is not only about discovering a country with endless nature and stunning hidden secret places, a continent with magnificent fauna and flora, a country with such a particular history. It is most of all about rediscovering our Selves in an environment who enable us to be completely ourselves, taking us out of our comfort zone and triggering us at the deepest level of our beliefs.

But we promise you one thing, guys, this is not the beginning of a sad story it’s the start of a journey which leads to a reconnection with the Self. The true Self.

How did the disconnection started?

Everything definitely began with the idea that we could and had to control all the aspects of our lives and that meant also controlling all the sensations and feelings appearing in our body. It’s something that happen so often and to everyone but sneaks in slowly into our habits that we don’t even realise we start to lose the connection.

One day of beginning 2013, I was working on a project for my studies, I started to get very strong headaches. It followed my period. I just thought headaches from my PMS, normal. Days after days, headaches were more and more present and I was just considering it as an assault from my body. “Why the hell is he inflicting me this?” The pain was so intense, I couldn’t focus anymore but I had to work so, I took the painkillers. Relief after the first pill, the second was already useless. I started to live with this pain, everyday, as it was my burden. Thinking that it was a lack of luck, my mean body chose to inflict me all this suffering. Without even asking myself if I was maybe understanding something wrong? After the headaches, backaches appeared as well. I couldn't barely sleep because of the pain but I continued to be deaf to all the signs. My situation went worse and worse. I spent a lot of time going from doctors to doctors, trying to find out what was happening to me. Nothing special came up, the pain just continued and therefore the search as well.

Of course my generalist doctor started to point out the psychological aspect of the symptoms. I went to the psychotherapist but nothing went better. I, even, sank more deeply into the pain. It’s been a long, long time before I started listening to the symptoms which, I understood later on, were the way my body found to keep me update of what was going on inside of myself. But at that time, I was in such a profound misery that instead I started to face some really negative thoughts. The search was on and I was thinking how my body could make me suffer like this?

One day, blood tests came back pointing out some autoimmune markers in my blood. I went to a Rheumatologist and considering the symptoms and the results of the blood test, they ended up with a diagnosis: I was suffering from Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS).

So far, I still don’t understand how they could have told me this regarding to the symptoms and the autoimmune markers. This wasn’t enough at all to make such a diagnosis.

But at that time, it looked out like finally we found what I was suffering from and there was going to be a way to release me from the pain.

Time passing, the first effects of the pills were gone and I was still there with my pain. I was feeling so lonely. No one to understand, no one to live my nightmare and that idea just freaked me out. I was really far from understanding what was happening inside of me. I never cried so much in my life. Life was such a burden. I was truly thinking about life in a total other perspective than today. At this time, I was fed up as hell to go to doctors. I just wanted to hide myself and find some rest in my suffering. Sinking more and more in my misery, happiness was a word that became really painful to hear. Happiness and joy from the others as well. I was taking each day this medication which was supposed to help me to overcome the pain. It worked. For a time. But after a while, even the strongest medication for the AS wasn’t working. They ended up giving me some derivative of morphine just for the pain but this wasn’t a sustainable option. Of course it worked, I couldn’t feel the pain in my head and my back anymore but I also felt like I couldn’t feel my entire Self anymore.

At that stage of my life, I did realise how much I was losing the connection with myself but also with everything else. I think my parents also did. I was broken. Completely. My mother felt something was going really wrong here. She decided to take me to one more Rheumatologist, this time Life brought me something different. That Rheumatologist couldn’t believe the diagnosis which was given to me. I was doing Physiotherapy at this time to help me to sustain and soften the pain and he told me that regarding the results of my AS tests and my autoimmune condition, he wouldn’t go for such diagnosis. He added, indeed I have autoimmune markers in my blood but those one are not related to the AS. Comforted me that I shouldn’t worry too much about it as far as the symptoms related to that particular disease starts to show off. I learned that lots of people worldwide are carrying autoimmune markers but not all of them are declared sick and experiencing the symptoms. He, wisely, recommended me to continue with the things which were really helping me especially if some of them can be without medication.

Of course I went out of the consultation with a feeling of relief but in the same time, headaches were still there and I wanted them so badly to disappear.

In the same week, I had one Rheumatologist telling me that I had to face the reality : I have Ankylosing Spondylitis and another one telling me that I’m not suffering from this disease! I ended up even more confused, but even if I was confused, I was fed up as well. So far I’ve been trying the way of being sick without any success, this time I choose to believe the one who was saying that I wasn’t sick. That day, I really understood that something was deeply going wrong, (and I mean here, not only inside of my body but also in our approach of the human body) so wrong that I was even taking medication which wasn’t helping to lower my symptoms but were just putting more trash inside of my body. That day, I understood that I needed to find the truth inside of myself, not outside and that in that quest, my body is going to be the best guide.

This was only the first part of the story but it was already a huge step in the process I was going to embrace the following years. I did lost the connection with my body, so how would I have known that all those signs were my Speaking body talking to me?

How the reconnection started?

After that day, things started to change. I had my first consultation with a Microkinesitherapist.

So far, I wasn’t really informed of what was exactly Microkinesitherapy but I was interested to give it a try and this experience ended up being so mind blowing to me.

• "Microkinesitherapy is a specific manual technique which helps the body to defend and correct itself when suffering from traumatic, emotional, toxic, viral, microbial or environmental attacks. Microkinesitherapy helps searching for the old and new scars left by these aggressions within the organism tissues. It avoids tissue degradation and restores its function. It is a soft therapy by micro palpation and thus named, microkinesitherapy. It is necessary to distinguish it from the energetic techniques such as the hands apposition, osteopathy or acupuncture." (http://www.hcmc.be/index.php/en/alternative-therapies/299-microkinesitherapy)

• "In this gentle therapy the basics of homeopathy are applied manually: through delicate touch the body is reminded of unhealed injuries and a finalising self-healing is initiated. This causal approach reaches irritation and trauma even if they are not remembered consciously." (source:https://www.microkinesitherapie.info/english/description/)

I came there just explaining my symptoms and that’s all. I went out of there with such realization about the mind and body connection. I was searching the answers since years already. What was going wrong with me ? Why those pains ? Why this chronic fatigue ? Why that depressive state? And most of all, why am I not happy anymore ? He just told me some few words but there were so right on the point. He could read me like a book. I was shocked. I haven’t told him about all the things I was going through. Of course, he could get some hints regarding the way I was expressing myself about the symptoms but what really freaked me out was that he really put right into my face what was going on inside of my mind. The false agreements I was focusing on and which led me more and more into that deep and profound misery.

I went out of this appointment, with those awakening facts about myself. I suffered even more the two following days. But as I said, starting from that day lots of things changed. I understood that everything that I was experiencing in my life had actually a real impact on my body. That either positive or negative experience were encrypted in my body tissue so precisely that the microkinesiologist could see the marks of those past events. It sounded crazy, nothing that I’ve been taught so far was going in that direction. But what I experienced made it so clear. This was my first big discovery about the human body and since then, I started to be more and more awake to the signs of my body.

Regarding the rising interest I was putting in considering my body in another way, I got to learn that the holistic approach of health was not yet a concept really present in our society. At least, way less considered in our western culture than in the Ancient Medicines such as the ones you can find in Asia, South America, Africa and many others areas worldwide. Even if scientists and practitioners tends to put more and more interest in the holistic approach, unfortunately it is still often related to mysticism, magic and sectarianism in the common western knowledge. But no matter western society is saying about the mind and body connection, one month later and some important changes at the counter, I had no pain anymore. Incredible ? The pain I was suffering from since one year and a half, completely gone ! That first consultation to the microkinesiologist was actually the first step to the reconnection to my Self.

Today, I’m still thanking those amazing practitioners who showed me another way of considering the human body. Not simply as a dysfunctioning machine which needs to be fixed from time to time by external help. It took me a while to understand that this was just the beginning. Even if I had already a lot of understanding of the human body, I got to understand that in terms of mind and body connection, I was still an apprentice. A bit more than two years passed, I changed my studies, took decisions which were quite crucial to me. I learned to listen to my body more and more but looking back, I was still missing the quintessence of the inner conflict.

In October 2015, I got another wake-up call from my Speaking body. This time, he kind of change his way of speaking. I would say that he decided to shake me a bit harder. He was probably shouting at me something like: “Hey little sweetie, CHANGE SOMETHING RIGHT NOW, OR YOU GONNA DIE!” I got a thrombosis in my leg and several pulmonary embolisms. In other words, my body wasn’t able anymore to regulate the fluidity of my blood and was producing blood clots. Those blood clots could have travelled through my blood and got stuck everywhere in my body, but luckily they only choose my leg and my lungs. It could have been lethal; instead, it ended up with a real autoimmune diagnosis.

This time, I wasn’t feeling so bad about it (because of my first lessons, probably). I mean, of course, I would have preferred to avoid those daily pills, those horrible-contention-tights-to-wear-for-two-years and that Damocles sword on my head concerning pregnancy. Instead, I took it as another lesson from life and even more, another message from my Speaking body to remind me that I was again fleeing the truth about my Self.

The autoimmune condition is such a new thing in the medical history. Our western medicine is still really uncomfortable with those growing types of disease. And more generally, everything which touches the immune system. Lots of things are discovered those last years or still under scientific studies. More and more recent studies are showing a link between the mental state and the body state. Neuropsychological researchers are proving more and more the impact of the mind on the healing processes or the apparition of autoimmune and inflammatory diseases. All those discoveries are giving more weight to what is the standard knowledge in the Ancient medicines.

All those facts, led me to this never-ending will to at least try to take into account all the parts of my human body which are my body AND my mind. But most of all, spread out my experiences, what I found out for myself and what led me to real answers about my health condition.

Today, I still have that autoimmune condition. But, I’m more happy than I have ever been ! I’m thanking my Speaking body to be there, each day, at my side showing me the way to the answers and giving me hope in my recovery. He's my best partner, since ever and forever, and I’m apologising to him for being away for such a long time.

Everything is going to be okay in the end. If it's not okay it's not the end. John Lennon

All those signs. No listening. Our Speaking body was shouting at us for so long, but both of us lost the connection and weren’t able to listen anymore. We were just too busy in our lives following our pretended goals. But what we discovered thanks to our Speaking bodies is that those claimed goals where so close to our mind requests and so far from our body needs, that’s why we decided for the change. We decided to become as much Wide Awake as possible to our body, our mind and environment.

That’s why we haven’t planned an end yet. That’s also why the only thing we know, is, that we are going to discover as many parts as possible of Australia in order to understand as many aspects possible of our Selves.

Let’s follow the #journey, more than probably, you’re also going to #learn about your #Self.