Create your own reality

Be conscious of your power. You are able to shape your entire reality. After our first stories, it was time to write about what happened next. How we decided to leave, go on this journey, explore the world and ourselves.

The Boyz Seat from Snapper's Rock

One surf looking bench called the “Boyz Seat” and four old guys sitting on that same bench, watching the waves. This is one of the early shot I took when we arrived in Coolangatta, East Coast of Australia. The Surfers Paradise! What a lovely fancy place. This picture is a very simple example of how you can choose who you are. These old guys on the bench decided to be the Boyzzz for one day or maybe, each time they come to watch the waves... That’s what you need to understand, YOU are experiencing the reality the way YOU want. It is the unspoken power of your mind (luckily, less and less unspoken nowadays).

For my part, I started to learn about the power of my mind when I discovered micro-physiotherapy as I explained it in the story “Reconnection with the Self”. The micro-physiotherapist I was seeing, introduced me to a mind-blowing book: "the Four Agreements of Toltec". It took me a while to start reading it but it was definitely the book which opened my eyes to all the beliefs which were deeply engraved in my unconscious and were putting a lot of weight on my shoulders.

I started to understand that this unexplained dizziness, tiredness and pain were related to my mental state more than a certain condition. As soon as I started to realise that I was able to shape my reality I started to experience so many changes in my life. From the encounters I did, to the opportunities which came to me, to my health condition. So many things started to slowly but steadily take another turn.

This book surprisingly started to be my guide better than any other psychotherapist or doctor, I could have visited during my hard times. It became a precious guide for all the situations of life. Only four simple rules: one, the impeccability of the speech; two, don't do any suppositions; three, don't take things personally and four, do your best in every situation. No one said they were easy... They are even not easy at all to follow, but as soon as you start applying them, you realise that you are the master on board. From one moment to another, you are able to switch your vision of the things. A situation which looks really bad can be experienced in a completely other way if you realise the power that your mind has to change your perception of the situation. This is certainly one of the most incredible things one can experience.

You don'T HAVE TO

The first things who changed were those « I have to »: I have to study to become someone; I have to find a job in Belgium because I don’t have enough money to travel. Even though I had a dream, I was so obsessed by those « I have to » that I wasn’t doing what I was dreaming about at all: travelling, working on a personal project and being able to sustain doing these things. That was my biggest dream and those awakenings from my body were there to tell me I wasn’t going that way. I wasn’t at all working on building my dream but instead, I was just going more and more in the opposite direction. At that time, going with the flow without asking me any questions was the most difficult thing I could imagine. Being in the moment, 100%, without being in my thoughts was something almost impossible.

The alarm call from my body, the discovery of micro-physiotherapy and that book were the things which helped me to realise but still, I wasn’t daring to follow my dream.

One day going to my first exam of January’s session, I felt from something like 10 steps directly on my head. The ambulance send me straight to the hospital, I had a heavy concussion and a whiplash. Result: I was not able anymore to study for my following exams. This was my last call. Again, it could have been really worse. After the fall, I was horrified when I realised I just felt on my head and have this blood circulation disease. While I was waiting for the ambulance, I was deeply feeling what it meant to carry such a disease. That fall and the emotions I went through while waiting, were like a hammer in my face. Like, I suddenly really realised what life was worth and that there was no reason to drown myself in those « I have to ». Basically, I had to do anything but being 100% happy. We hear so often about beautiful souls who left this world so unexpectedly. It has become such an important topic nowadays: live your life to the fullest, is the new trendy warning we give to the people trapped in the rat race. But still, not everyone is realising. That it’s today that we have to be happy. Not tomorrow.

Falling directly on my head, realising that stupid fall could have been my last experience on earth, had probably shaken my mind a bit harder and certainly made me realise how much that dream was really important to me, how much it was my « mission » on this planet. We are all, at different times in our lives, trying to understand what is this all about. What’s our mission? What are we doing here? Why the hell, are we trapped in this rat race?

This fall was the ultimate lowest point I could have reached that moment. After struggling for a while with my studies, my mental and physical state, learning about that autoimmune condition and finally ending up with an accident which compromises the rest of my master studies. In my view, I touched the very bottom. I went too far in denying what was going on inside of me and that incident was allowing me to take a break, walk a step back and gave me time to figure out what was going on.

At that exact same period, Ben just had his burnout. As you can figure out, the situation was really at the lowest but at the same time, while looking at it from another perspective, it sounded like everything was meant to be. Both of us, with this autoimmune condition showing up while we were building a reality which wasn’t ours. We believe now, that was the perfect example that the unconscious body is so much more powerful than we are taught. We understood later on, that our bodies, were so desperate to see us not listening to the signals, that he founded the extreme way to make our minds settle down in the battle.

Life as best trainer

And here we are, eight months later, cruising in Coolangatta, living the so-called van life and experiencing the magnificent surfer lifestyle of South Queensland. As Ben explained it in the story "Go with the flow", it wasn’t the perfect van life directly. We first had to find our four-wheel home: another challenge! And again, it triggered the old beliefs that we were working on letting go.

Having learned about the power of our mind and our ability to change our perception of the reality, Australia has become our new playground. It was now, the perfect opportunity to start applying all those principles in real life, every single day: Start to believe in the power of our mind to shape our reality, have faith in what life provides. And after all, what was the risk? No one at all.

The only thing you do is changing your perception and by changing your perception, you start realising that a certain situation can be understood in many different ways.

If there is a problem, there is a solution. If there is no solution, it simply means there was no problem. - Anthony Milleret

But as everyone is different and walk a different path, I’m not here to tell you your way. I’m only there to show you the different options we used to awaken our mind and our body. The path of Ben was different from mine. He started to learn about the power of hypnosis on the mind through a show of a famous hypnotist called Anthony Jacquin. This guy was making disappear people from the others people mind. This trick fascinated him so much that he wanted to learn more about the abilities of the mind. There born his passion for hypnosis and several months later he started to study it. Thanks to this he also learned self-hypnosis and started to relieve himself layers after layers from some very old traumas.

When the conscious meets the unconscious

Hypnosis is also another great tool to work on your belief system and your perception of the reality. Hypnosis directly connects with your unconscious mind, helps to express blocked emotions, past traumas by allowing the unconscious mind to express itself and not be under the control of the conscious mind anymore. The conscious mind which is responsible for all our thoughts and our beliefs. For the time of a session of hypnosis, you are able to access your mind and modify your perception of the reality. This experience enables you to understand that you are your own master and that each and every sensation that appears in and on your body can be experienced in a different way.

And looking back to the trick of Anthony Jacquin where he enables people to make disappear people, it is not only inside of yourself that you can change your perception of a sensation but also outside. Hypnosis is a powerful tool to guide you through a better understanding of your abilities in terms of building your reality. It is a tool underestimated in the domain of psychology. Even though things tend to change these days there is still resistance. When you think that hypnotic techniques are easier and shorter to apply than psychoanalysis and that Freud back in the nineteen century thought there could be powerful mental processes which nevertheless remained hidden from the consciousness of men. He thus considered post-hypnotic suggestion as a demonstration of “the existence and mode of operation of the mental unconscious” (Freud, 1915b, pp.168-9) and as experimental proof of the existence of “unconscious psychical acts” (Freud, 1940/1964, p.285). In this way, hypnosis was recognised as a powerful tool to reach these mental processes. The thing Freud was worried about is the question of how to work with them, believing that the hypnotist weren’t able to influence the patient's ability of transference pointing out that hypnosis was more suppressing rather than expressing¹. This view of hypnosis has now evolved and the techniques as well, they are now allowing more expression of the patient in the hypnotic state.

After looking deeper into it, you end up asking yourself why is it still the Freudian psychoanalysis which is the most used in treating mental issues? Of course great names of the psychology pointed out some critics regarding hypnosis but the fact that, that information is taken out of a conference which was led by the professor Philippe Mairlot, faculty of psychology at the « Université Libre de Bruxelles » about the treatment and prevention of burnout in the field of psychology shows that there is hope. There is a shift which is appearing: the power of the mind is more and more considered into the common knowledge and especially in the most recent years of research in psychology.

Understanding the power of our mind is the key to lots of misery in human’s mind. Hypnosis is such a great tool when it comes to getting some help to reach that realisation. Hypnosis makes it easier because there is no critical mind anymore to put us back directly into our old beliefs. Because you’re talking directly to the unconscious mind, you’re directly connecting with your inner self, with YOUR TRUTH. No place anymore for the mask you can be wearing from time to time or even, all the time. No place for your doubts. Hypnosis gives you your personal space where you can be completely yourself and allows yourself to completely let go.

That’s the beauty of the practice. You are guided by a hypnotherapist which helps you to reach that particular state which can also be reached by other techniques such as meditation or deep relaxation for example. Hypnosis is basically for everyone and works for everyone. It just a question of giving it a fair trial and allow the hypnotic state to take place in order to help you and the hypnotist in the emotional work.

UNLCK your mind

UNLCKyourmind is the program that Ben started to develop after building his experience giving free hypnosis sessions to lots of people, working on the release of past traumas, blocked emotions and phobias. If you’re interested in hypnosis or you’re just curious about it. If you would like to unleash the full potential of your mind and awaken yourself to your limiting beliefs, I suggest you to go read on unlckyourmind.com what the program is about. In the next months, we are also going to share with you more details about what is UNLCKyourmind, what are the benefits of hypnosis and what can be improved by using hypnosis. In our bibliography, you will also find interesting books about hypnosis, if you would like to extend your knowledge already now ;)

Of course, changing your beliefs and your perception of the reality is work. It’s been a little while that you’re working on building these but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible and painful. It requires consistency and will, but if you’re keen to make the change happen then you shouldn’t be scared. There’s only a happier and lighter life waiting for you.

I will not conclude saying that it was only hypnosis and that book which brought us to this understanding of the reality. Also, there is a big difference between understanding and experiencing. Hypnosis and “The four agreements of Toltec” opened us the door to the understanding of our mind and our ability to shape our perception of the events of life but the next incredibly life-changing practice we’ve learned is the Vipassana meditation which opened us the door to the awakening of our mind and our body.

Read about our experience in the Vipassana meditation retreat in the upcoming content of BE wide awake. We're going to share with you about the incredible experience it was to learn about how it feels to be completely connected to yourself for 10 days of silence, with only meditation as occupation.

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¹Rachel Bachner-Melman, Pesach Lichtenberg, “Freud’s Relevance to Hypnosis: A Reevaluation”, American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis 44:1, July 2001. Retrieved from http://www.asch.net/portals/0/journallibrary/articles/ajch-44/bachner.pdf